A Steaming Cup of Seattle


Day 1 - Saturday

(10:17 am EST)

A blizzard is going on right now in New York, but we are still scheduled to fly in about an hour. I understand that there might be delays, just be honest with me. LaGuardia airport is covered in snow. This is just nuts.  Mike V. drove us over to the airport weirdly enough the roads were not so bad. But it was like a refugee camp inside the airport with dozens of people under powder blue blankets and complimentary pillows.

So after a quick breakfast with Mike, Ani and I went through security. I was brought over to the side, apparently wearing cargo pants makes one fit the profile to blow up a plane. It appears that planes are taking off. So hopefully in a few hours we'll be in Denver, and then off to Seattle.

(11:09 am EST)

So our plane is in a holding pattern somewhere over New York. The conditions appear to be worsening. The pilot is on attempt number 4 to land. Ani points out that there are a lot of foreign people waiting for our flight, sitting right near us were a family of Russians and a gaggle of Australians. This is going to be a long day me thinks. Ani just gave me some yummy yogurt.

(11:19 am EST)

"Flight 866 has landed" and all the people sitting at gate C14 let out a collective cheer. Flight 405 to Denver should be taking off shortly after cleaning and refueling.

The eagle has landed

(6:36pm EST/4:36pm MST)

So we are in Denver. After a really rocky (no pun) start we made it to Denver at about 3 o'clock mountain standard time. We saw Pirates of the Caribbean on the flight. Ehh it was ok. But what is really important is that we got here safely. The Rockies are absolutely stunning. I couldn't get to the camera, but I took some shots from the airport. We are now scheduled to arrive in Washington at about 7:10  local time --10:10 New York Time--8:10 Denver time. Well it looks like we are boarding. Will update further when we arrive in Seattle.

(9:49 pm EST/6:49pm PST)

We are about to land in Seattle they tell us to turn off all electronic devices. I can understand a cell phone, but I do not think a disk-man can take down a 757.

 

Day 2 - Sunday

What we saw

(6:35am PST)

Why am I writing at this ungodly hour? Well because my body thinks it is almost 10am. So we will be leaving the Days Inn in a few hours. Take my advice NEVER go to a Days Inn. The night guy Michael asks for my credit card as we check in, I say that we have a reservation and he sees the reservation. They are in the system. But now he wants to charge the stay to my credit card. I'm paying cash I inform him. Oh we usually don't take cash for stays longer than overnight. You must be mistaken, the reservation people had no problem with the arrangement. After about 20 minutes of arguing at nearly midnight my time I say fuck it I'll pay for tonight and I'll find a new hotel in the morning. Infuriated we went up to our shitty small room. With a view of a small office building. Grand. The one redeeming value that this hotel has, is its great view of the Space Needle. Hopefully the sun will rise soon, so I can get some shots of it at dawn. This trip is going to completely fuck up my sense of time.

I took an elevator with some weird goth who looked some what like Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. I'm going to shower, eat some breakfast and re-organize and hopefully get this trip going. Oh yeah its raining.

(AT THIS POINT I STOPPED TAKING FORMAL TIMED NOTES AND JUST WROTE FROM MEMORY)

After the really cool breakfast, delicious apple fritters. We walked around downtown, it was 8am-ish, and the city was so quiet. Ani and I headed back to the Days Inn, the two cups of coffee flew right threw me. Before we would check out, we were going to enjoy the Days Inn’s only feature, its proximity to the Space Needle. I had been out at dawn to see the sunrise over the needle and it was really cool, but now the gray Seattle sky had already drifted in. Incidentally the only sun we saw in Seattle was after we got to Sea-Tac on Friday. Anyways, we walked over to the needle and it was every foot 520’. I was in awe of its pure magnitude. We got our tickets and went up. The ride took a mere 41 seconds. And we were high above the so-called Emerald city.

 

The staff in the needle was really nice and informative. Showing us cool things on maps and pointing them out with the telescopes. There was a Starbucks up there. This would be a recurring trend.  It was crazy how small the city was from up there. I haven’t been on the observation deck of the Empire States building in I don’t know how long, but I want to make some time to get that perspective on New York like I had over Seattle that morning.

We made our way back to the hotel, when we saw what I believed to be one of the things I really wanted to see, the Freemont troll. So we quickly ran over to an oddly shaped statue, with camera in hand I was very disappointed when it turned out to be Chief Seattle who the city was named after.  Off on a tangent it was very odd the relationship that the founding fathers of the city, once known as New York,  had with the local tribes. I was determined to find the troll.

So we got back to the Days Inn, and checked out. It was like being on tour, a new day a new hotel. With map in hand we dragged our bags up one of Seattle’s many hills until we got to the Spring Hills Suites by Marriott. With no problems we checked in and ended up paying much less than previously anticipated. They told us about their hourly shuttles to downtown. So we got our stuff up to the room and left on the next shuttle.

As we traveled into downtown we saw all the huge big name stores we saw as we drove into town the night before. What you would expect, Starbucks, Gap, Starbucks, Old Navy, Starbucks, Borders (with a Starbucks), Starbucks, Barnes and Nobles (with a Starbucks inside), I think you know where I’m going with this. Anyway the shuttle leaves us in front of the Westlake Mall, which is the heart of Downtown Seattle. Right down the block is Pike’s Place Market. We went into the mall to see what they had, before we went exploring more. That just shows what kind of capitalists we are. One of the stores they had that we don’t and really too bad, was the Love Sac shop. And its not what you think, the love sac store was a store that sold these awesome oversized bean-bags. I am talking beanbag chairs the size of love seats. I sat in a fuzzy one, ohh it was awesome. I wish I had the spare 400 bucks.

We made our way to Pike’s Place. Which is sort of  a large outdoor market, with crafts, food, and underground all these weird little shops. We were getting a little hungry and we found a great soup place. Ani had really good seafood bisque and I had salmon chowder. Holy shit was it good. The salmon was actually soft and fatty like its supposed to be. I could have kept eating that chowder all day. We went into the market, and saw the world’s famous fish guys who toss the fish. They yell and make a big spectacle about it. But really only do it when someone is buying a fish. It wasn’t “Hey Dom its 1:15 toss be a Bass.”

We didn’t hang around too long, we had lots to see. After polishing off a bag of freshly fried mini donuts (Guanica Style), we headed down to the waterfront. As we walked down to the stairs, all we saw along with the Starbucks’ were the homeless. And I know that New York has homeless as well, but this was like 1980s in New York homelessness. Everywhere. If there is going to be a clear-cut class war, it’s going to look like Seattle. We make our way down to the  waterfront, there was this wacky Scottish shop. It was so much like the SNL skit “Everything Scottish … were there motto was is "if its no Scottish, Its Crap.” So we are down on the cold cold waterfront, the trolley speed by us and we go check out Some shops down there. We went into this sports gear store and the guy working there, struck up a conversation. He was from New Jersey and a Mets fan. We talked some Mets for a little while, then he went on this long diatribe how the Red Sox were actually the evilest franchise in MLB. That kind of talk sound like a Yankees fan to me.  So we went into an arcade and Ani played one of those Japanese dancing games. Sadly the pictures of this didn’t come out.

Our next stop was the “Ye Olde Oddities Shop,” in addition  to being yet another place with Seattle souvenirs, they had 2 naturally mummified people in boxes. They were freaky. The guy, had been shot in the stomach and left to die in the desert. They never identified him, but he is so fucking creepy, since he is mummified but has a bit of a mustache, and is holding his side where he was shot. I don’t remember the story of the female mummy they had. But between them and the stuffed cow with two heads and the jarred freak pigs, Ani was all kinds of freaked out.

As we made our way over to Pioneer square, the oldest part of town, we saw a Russian sub in port. Not to be alarmed, it was a sub someone bought and now used as a tourist attraction. We turned up into Pioneer Square and the architecture was really cool, it actually became cooler two days later when we took the underground tour and learned the history of the area. We made our way over the “international district” which we were warned at the Space Needle not to go to after dark. And rightly so. We walked down this side street near where the original Skid Row was, and not much has seemed to change. We got over to the international district, and realized why visitors shouldn’t be there after dark. We jumped on a bus back into downtown. I was actually depressed on that bus looking out. After a long long day we got back to the hotel, and took a dip into the hot tub.  If you have a choice between pool or hot tub take hot tub every time. We ordered some awesome Thai food, and called it a night.

Day 3 – Monday

 What we saw

 

After a lavish continental breakfast, we got a cab over to 171 Lake Washington Blvd West. The former home of Nirvana lead singer Kurt Cobain. Actually also the house where he killed himself as well. The driver had no idea how to get there and about 40 minutes later we found it. It was really nice, it had a thick and high gate. I guess to keep away idiots like us. We took some pictures and headed back. Then right next door we found a little park that like the house over looked Lake Washington. The park had two benches, with the words Kurt’s Park. The benches were covered with people’s writings. I left a message that Nirvana’s music is so much ahead of everything, even nearly 10 years later. While we were going back for some rocks, we saw the new owner arrive, he looked so pissed.

So now in the middle of nowhere, we hiked back along Lake Washington until we found a bus heading towards down town. We got on a bus on the so-called green line. The green line is a fully electric bus line. There was a woman on board who was learning the route, who was originally from Brooklyn. She really helped us get on the right path over to our next destination Freemont.

Freemont, is supposedly the hip cool center of Seattle. And it was. The search for the troll, began in earnest. I was looking up and down each of the streets, to no avail. And as we turned down one block there it was a huge gigantic statue on the corner. I took a shot of it from behind and made the turn, only to see a gigantic statue of Lenin. What the fuck? Some dude who was replenishing the socialist newspaper right by Lenin, told us the troll was up another block under the bridge.  So up another damp hill we trudged. And low and behold there was the Freemont Troll. A gigantic hideous face and hands seemingly carved out of one gigantic rock. There was something so cool and so evil about the troll.

At this point, we wanted to find some grub. And I had a list from The Stranger, a local paper much like the Village Voice, about a place that sells crab melts. So after getting directions form the UPS store, we headed along the long and windy road to Ballard. The road was a very disappointing one, especially since when we found the place it was closed. Luckily we stumbled upon “The Totem House” some sort of bizarre fast food seafood place. We both had these  fried seafood samplers mine had these delicious salmon nuggets. YUM YUM YUM. We were able to hop a bus back towards Westlake. After a long long day, it was nice to settle in for the night.

 

Day 4 – Tuesday

  What we saw

So in our last full day in Seattle, there were a few things we needed to see, so we had the shuttle drop us off by the Space needle, we were going to see the EMP, basically a music museum opened by Paul Allen (the other guy from Microsoft) and designed by uberArchitecht Frank Ghery. But they weren’t open yet, so this freed up some time for us. We jumped on the Monorail, and zoomed towards downtown.

The Seattle monorail is really fast and shaky unlike the Monorails at Disney. But I digress. So we headed on foot from downtown towards Pioneer Square where we’d try to get in the early Underground tour. With time to spare, we stopped in Seattle’s only internet café. For the price of 12 cents a minute, or 20 minutes free with a cup o Joe, we were able to check our mail and feel back in touch with the real world.

So after we left the coffee house, where there was a blue haired girl serving coffee, we got over to Doc Madsen’s  the home of the underground tour. Ed our tour guide guided us around the early street level of Seattle, which was about one story below current street level. It was really cool, and the greatest tip I learned was that when you walk along the street and you see purple glass imbedded, someone might be able to see you from the other side.

So we finished the tour with 15 minutes to spare before the tour of Safeco field, so we hauled ass across town and got there in time. The tour was not very packed it was Ani and I, these two guys from New York, and these two “blokes” from Australia, and of course our intrepid tour guide Art.

Art was an older man, originally from the mid-west. Not really knowledgeable about baseball. He kept getting facts wrong, and he didn’t understand a single word the Aussies said. We saw cool stuff there, including the owners box, the press box, the visitors locker room, where I went into the visitors shower, there were several towels strewn about, I should have grabbed them, but I didn’t want to get arrested in Seattle. The final stop on the tour was the field. Having been on the field at Shea Stadium several times, still doesn’t prepare you for the next time you are on a major league field. We sat in both dugouts and took plenty of pictures, there.

So now we were "hella" hungry, we headed back to Pioneer square where we had some really good Mexican food.  We took a long ride on the waterfront trolley. And headed back. We did a little shopping, took a soak in the hot tub, a swim in the pool and called it a night.

 

Day 5 – Wednesday

 What we saw

 

Our wake-up call was for a ghastly 530am. So we would have time to get to pier 69, it was so dark and grim near the waterfront. But the homeless were not out yet. So we checked our bags and went though customs. We soon boarded the Victoria Clipper, headed towards Canada. The sea was a little rough as we left the port of Seattle. I already took some Dramamine. Ani was doing great ... she enjoyed salmon basket (which was really good) and I tried not to be sick.          

 

So we arrive in the great white north about 1030am local time. We found our hotel shuttle, and soon were at on of several Travelers Inns in Victoria.  After checking in we decided to take the double deck bus tour. So we headed down to the luxurious Empress Hotel. We walked through china town, passing by FAN TAN ALLEY North America's narrowest street, then for a quick slice of pizza. Not bad for Canadian pizza.

 

 So we get to the bus, there is no heat so the windows kept fogging up. Victoria is beautiful, so much like what I can imagine England to be like. One of the highlights of the tour was seeing the Pacific, which was one of my goals on this trip.

After the tour we walked around and had an old time picture taken of us. I was a gun slinging heavy drinking sheriff, Ani was sent by the local brothel owner to distract this brave though flawed lawman. The owner of the shop, Tony, kept calling me MARSHALL as he fitted me for my costume. So after giving him several Joe Lieberman's and a hand full of Queen Elizabeth/bear coins, we bid them adieu.

Our last stop of the night was, a wax museum. It was cool; some of the figures were so realistic. When we went to the horror section, I nearly shit myself when a worker came out from behind a door.

 

Ani and I both had favorite displays

After the museum we did some shopping, I got a Cancucks wool hat. We ended up eating at the hotel restaurant, did some laundry (some stuff was damp) and called it a night after checking our mail in the lobby. There was a ferry strike, but not ours. We were in for smooth sailing.

Day 6 – Thursday

What we saw

 

Knowing that our bags would be delivered to the boat, Ani and I checked out and headed with our carry-ons to Craigderroch Castle. The Castle was built by a Scottish man for his wife, unfortunately he died before its completion, his wife and children lived there as some of Seattle’s early aristocracy. It was really beautiful and we were able to get ourselves around the children, and see it at our own pace.

The next stop for us was Thunderbird park, which was in a historic district of Victoria, which was a small park with many really cool totem poles. Unfortunately there were no signs posted about the history of the poles, but they were neat to look at.

With a few hours still to kill we went to the natural history museum. Nothing of note except for my near arrest. We went up to the second floor where they had nature scenes, wanting to get a really cool picture, I walked right in with Ani preparing to take a picture. As we were waiting for the flash to charge, I hear a voice say “Your lucky the alarm didn’t go off.” I turned and saw a security guard coming in, I looked the other way to see Ani speed walking in the other direction. I quickly got out of there and apologized. When I caught up to Ani, I noticed that we were followed the rest of our visit.

So we are on the Victoria Clipper on the way back to Seattle. I'm falling asleep, and then I hear "will passenger Niel Vuolo please come to the Duty Free area and Speak with Joel." What the fuck could they possibly want with me? Is it related to that incident in the natural history museum? So Joel, and I go over who was one of the stewards on the way to BC and was now the guy in charge on the way back. He informed us, that our hotel in BC did not deliver our suitcases.

Do I really look like I need to find out we left a foreign country without my luggage?

So when we got to port we found out that they will be flying our bags to NY. I can’t wait to get home. It was pouring in Seattle and we took a cab out to our hotel near the airport.

It was late at night, we were at our hotel, we needed some cash to get food. The guy at the desk said there was a 7-11 just down the road. So I volunteered to take the walk. It was pouring, and I was soaking wet. When I got to the 7-11 there was a gas station out in front, and this woman was pumping gas. Holy shit was she hotter than hot. Her shirt was low cut and she had really nice (and probably really expensive) breasts peaking out. She had to have been a stripper (or a seamstress), because regular women don’t look like her pumping gas in the rain.

Day 7 – Friday

What we saw

After washing our underwear in the morning, we took a hotel shuttle over to Sea-Tac. Deftly we smuggled my Cuban through  security. After several conversations with the Victoria Clipper people and the Travelers Inn people, arrangements were made for our bags to be sent via FedEx. After picking up a book “Americans” by Chris Matthews, and several magazines for Ani, we headed back east.

The flight to Chicago, showed Pirates of the Caribbean again, I was hopping for Sea Biscuit. So I read, and plowed all the way through a 200-page book, in just under 3 hours. When we stopped in Chicago, I’d need to find another book and our flight was scheduled to start boarding in 25 minutes. And the gate was at the complete other side of the terminal. So once again we ran. Just like O.J. in the old Hertz commercials. We stopped in a gift store to pick up a magnet, some more magazines and a book, this time I got “The Punch” by John Feinstein. Much thicker than the other book, no way could I finish it in the much shorter flight from Chicago to New York.

At about 8:20pm EST we landed in LaGuardia. Home at last. Without luggage, we were in and out in five minutes. It was pretty nice. As Ani’s folks dropped us off, I picked up my set of keys that I lent to Mike, and Ani and I were finally at the end of our journey.

 

EPILOGUE

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